I too am a struggler of homosexuality. I left it behind me but I still feel in such a way for girls. Did you ever learn to love girls? How did God help you? Much love and Immanuel :D

Anonymous asked: I too am a struggler of homosexuality. I left it behind me but I still feel in such a way for girls. Did you ever learn to love girls? How did God help you? Much love and Immanuel :D

Hey Beloved

Thanks for reaching out. It means a lot to me, it’s so encouraging to know that none of us are alone, isn’t it? So, learning to love members of the opposite gender. I think, as people prone to SSA, it’s really a problem of attraction. I still find the physique of a man more attractive than feminine curves. That’s something I have to choose to drop every day at the feet of Jesus, and to keep leaving it behind.

As to actually loving members of the opposite gender, here’s a lie that Satan wants you to believe: Straight people don’t struggle with sexuality to the extent you do - if you were only straight, then you could really love. Here’s the truth: they struggle just as much as we do, but the expression is just more common, hence less shocking; whether it’s premarital sex, adultery, pornography, masturbation, or something we are too afraid to share, I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone who hasn’t struggled with their sexuality, and therefore struggled in knowing how to properly love. Whether or not we can see it, our hearts, meant to worship a Creator God, have turned twisted to other things, and in our depravity we come to be worshipers of the creature, not the Creator (Romans 1). And, in the process of losing God, we’ve lost what it means to love each other.

When the power of Christ overwhelms us, when His love dwells in us, it forces everything else out. No matter what the addiction is, when He comes into your heart, it can’t stay there for long, because our hearts must turn towards worship of the Lover of our souls. It’s only when we surrender our sexuality to God, in whatever broken way it comes, that we can come to truly love Him and rediscover what it means to love each other. Christ is in all, and through all.

The closer and closer I come to God, the more I’m seeing Him as Healer. For what might be the first time, I’m really beginning to see what relationship love might look like - it is attraction and affection and compassion and kindness and honest and wholesome. And, just at the right time, God’s brought this possibility of something more into my life.

When I’m with her, I’m on cloud nine. But when she’s gone, I keep on doubting myself … do I really love her? Is this more than just friendship? Are my thoughts towards her holy?

And I’m the exact same way with God.

Yet, at these times, God reminds my changeable heart of the truth - He is Healer, and He has a greater plan at work here, and He will bring it completion. Unceasingly, He preserves me according to His word. He pours out His Spirit on me. He brings me back to repentance at just the right time. He is making me new.

In light of this, I would suggest to everyone (myself included) struggling, to get deeper into the Word than we ever have, get deeper into prayer than we ever thought possible. Don’t just say, as I so often do, “I depend on Him”, but actually do it. When the ugly flesh rears its head and its desires, cry out to Him. When we want what our hearts want instead of what His heart wants, deny it and pick up that ugly tool of death, the Cross, and follow Him.

Trust Him, even while you hang over the abyss. Trust Him, when you’re too scared to take that next step. Trust Him, even while your nature cries out for what we know is wrong. Trust Him, when you can’t see any light in yourself at all. Trust Him. Trust Him.